


Astroneer - A Cautionary Tale

by PastaBucket



Category: Astroneer - Fandom, gamers - Fandom
Genre: Euthanasia, Gen, Genocide, Mental Health Issues, Offensive, Short One Shot, hatefic, savage - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-08
Updated: 2019-03-08
Packaged: 2019-11-13 20:57:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18038903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PastaBucket/pseuds/PastaBucket
Summary: These are my thoughts on Astroneer, after having played the game for a week, and having learned just what kind of players the devs made the game for.





	Astroneer - A Cautionary Tale

"I'm so glad that you could come, Doctor Hitler. It's this way."

The mother opened the door to her son's room, revealing a drooling retard trying to burrow through the floor. "Blrfffh! Gabbrrrrl..."

"He's been like this for a long time. I've just been too embarrassed to tell anyone. ...but then I saw that you could help."

"Stand back. I'll prepare ze lethal injection. There ve go. He should be put out of his miserable existence shortly.", Doctor Hitler assured her.

"Thank you so much, Dr. Hitler. You've saved my life!"

"It's all in a days community service, miss. Now promise me that you don't have children again."

"Oh, I've learned my lesson from this abomination, mr. Hitler - believe me. Sieg heil!"

 

As Hitler drove back to headquarters, he reflected on his job. The line between a villain and a hero, was really thin. Hitler had seen both sides more than once. After that whole fuckup with the jews - a grave mistake that he now tried to repent for - it felt good to finally be of actual benefit to society. The real enemy was game developers - at least most of them. They preyed on the weak, poisoning their minds, making them even weaker, more retarded and more delusional, and once they got to the level of an Astroneer, where they just tunnelled through planets for days, only death could save them.

 


End file.
